Star Wars Joke-A-Day

We call it a space opera. But how would our favorite saga been changed had George Lucas decided to serialize it as daytime television?

Well, for one thing, it would have needed a new name (Guiding Lightsaber? All My Younglings?). But that’s just the beginning, my friends. Presenting…

The Top Ten Differences had Star Wars been a Soap Opera

(drumroll please)

#10 —- Instead of six episodes, they drag it on for twenty-eight seasons.

#9 —- Padme didn’t “lose the will to live” — she left to star in a primetime sitcom.

#8 —- For some reason, Luke is always taking off his shirt.

#7 —- “I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee… and I did!”

#6 —- Anakin and Obi-Wan’s climactic duel is shot entirely in extreme close-ups.

#5 —- Luke and Leia are revealed to be long-lost twins. (Oh, wait…)

#4 —- For some reason, Uncle Owen is always taking off his shirt.

#3 —- In a shameless ratings stunt, Obi-Wan battles a debilitating addiction to death sticks.

#2 —- Darth Vader is revealed to be Susan Lucci, though she still doesn’t win an Emmy.

And the #1 difference is —- “The Empire Strikes Right Back After These Messages.”