For those of you living under a bantha, there’s been a lot of Star Wars news lately.
The director of Episode VII was revealed, followed a day later by confirmation from Lucasfilm. Then we heard that Episodes II and III will not be coming out in 3D this year, which was verified almost instantly.
So why wait for the next rumor to prove true? Thanks to my crack staff of industry spies, I can tell you now what everyone else will be talking about tomorrow. Presenting…
The Top Ten Soon-To-Be-Confirmed Star Wars Rumors
#10 —- Several big names will definitely appear in Episode VII: Harrison Ford, Anthony Daniels, and Samuel L. Jackson’s right arm.
#9 —- The Star Wars live-action series has been retooled as the 16th season of Dancing with the Stars.
#8 —- Part of J.J. Abrams’ contract stipulates that he must remake The Star Wars Holiday Special. It will last six seasons, but Chewbacca never makes it home.
#7 —- In order to concentrate on Episode VII, Lucasfilm also postpones the premiere of Star Wars Detours, the Blu-ray of Willow, and the 3D re-release of Radioland Murders.
#6 —- The Clone Wars will indeed move to Disney XD, where it is unexpectedly paired with reruns of Law & Order: SVU.
#5 —- “The Wedding of George & Mellody” will be broadcast live on ABC, followed by an uncomfortable “reunion special” with Gary Kurtz and David Prowse.
#4 —- Dark Horse retains the rights to publish Star Wars comics, but only after agreeing to an awkward crossover involving The Avengers and Scrooge McDuck.
#3 —- Zach Snyder’s “Seven Jedi” movie gets the green light. It is immediately disowned by a confused Alan Moore.
#2 —- Disney reveals plans to build a theme park entirely devoted to Star Wars. They have hired Busch Gardens’ creative director to make it happen.
And the #1 soon-to-be-confirmed rumor is —- Episodes X thru XII are a go!