May 2012
49 posts
7 tags
Top Ten Time #4
I’ve always loved vanity license plates. Especially Star Wars ones! In fact, here’s mine…
If you see me on the road honk and say hi!
Of course, they didn’t have license plates in that galaxy far, far away.
But perhaps there were bumper stickers! And in that spirit, let’s count down… The Top Ten Star Wars Bumper Stickers (drumroll please) #10 —-...
2 tags
Take The Reek By The Horns
Which famous starpilot was also a thrill-seeking matador?
Ric ¡Ole!
5 tags
Variation on a Classic
Qui-Gon Jinn lays still upon the shiny Theed Generator floor. His wound is fatal, and he knows it. “Obi-Wan,” mutters the fallen warrior, “I want you to know… that I pledge myself… to the teachings… of the Sith.” Obi-Wan looks shocked. “Master, you’ve been a Jedi your entire life,” he says. “Why switch now?”...
1 tag
He Always Wins! #2
Why was Sebulba embarrassed to eat out in public? He kept putting his foot in his mouth!
3 tags
Limerick Friday!
Though Luke was a quick Jedi Master Han was no slouch with his blaster When it came to winnin’ The hearts of fair women He loosened his holster much faster
2 tags
Limerick Friday!
Take pity on pretty Zam Wesell A Jedi done land on her vessel His weapon was flashed As her ride got smashed Like droids in the spice mines of Kessel
2 tags
Limerick Friday!
It’s a wonderfully ironic tale How Bren Derlin got hurled into jail Y’see, the drunk Major Skipped out on a wager And his bail check got lost in the mail
1 tag
Top Ten Time #3
If you’re a new grad — congratulations! But take it from me: the days fly by fast, and soon it’ll be ten, twenty, or even thirty years since you wore that silly cap and gown.
But just imagine how that might play out in a galaxy far, far away! So let’s run down…
The Top Ten Signs You’re at a Star Wars High School Reunion
(drumroll please) #10 —- You...
Anonymous asked: What is your favorite Star Wars joke please tell me it
1 tag
3 tags
Hoth Love #2
Why didn’t Luke enjoy going to the Wampa cave?
All he ever did was hang around!
2 tags
Variation on a Classic
The Jedi Master Yoda sat quietly on a log, surveying his new home on Dagobah, when suddenly a frog leapt onto his lap. “Kind sir,” croaked the frog, “you are the answer to my prayers! For I am not really the slimy being sitting before you — I am actually a beautiful princess! And if you grant me a kiss, my accursed spell shall be broken, and I pledge to stay with you for...
4 tags
Limerick Friday!
While tracking the last pure-blood Mando The Tatooine heat got to Lando He found no relief From boxers or briefs And ended up up going commando
2 tags
Limerick Friday!
A sad little Gand known as Zuckuss Always was causing a ruckus He’d hunt all around But sobbed when he found How Boba Fett had kicked his tuckus
3 tags
Limerick Friday!
Though Han might’ve been good at smuggling Even he had moments of bungling So when Solo dumped spice Vader put him on ice … well, at least he wasn’t a youngling!
2 tags
Potty Humor
Where did Darth Vader go to the bathroom in Return of the Jedi? In the Emperor’s Throne Room!
10 tags
Top Ten Time #2
We all love deleted scenes — but deleted lines? Yes, occasionally a scene doesn’t get thrown away entirely, it just gets cut down, leaving some crucial dialogue out of the finished film. Thankfully, many of these condensed moments have now been recovered and restored to their original length. And so, let’s count down… The Top Ten Unfinished Star Wars Quotes (drumroll...
2 tags
A Way With Words
What did the existentialist Jedi say to the medical droid? “2-1B or not 2-1B…”
Anonymous asked: What do you think about the the Star Wars against Star Trek.
3 tags
Variation on a Classic
Before resigning to a life of solitude on Tatooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi makes one last trip to his favorite eatery — Dex’s Diner. “Obi-Wan,” cries Dexter Jettster, “I’m so glad to see you!” “And I’m glad to see you, Dex,” smiles Obi-Wan. “How’ve you been?”
“Oh, it’s been… I’ve been… terrible....
3 tags
That's a Lightsaber, not a Thermometer!
What’s the average body temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm.
2 tags
The Parenting Menace
What was the name of the Death Star’s daycare center? Vader Tots!
3 tags
Mix It Up #5
What’s a Jawa’s drink of choice?
Martinni!
1 tag
Obi-Who? #2
What would Kenobi’s name have been had Mike Meyers played him? Obe-have!
1 tag
Obi-Who?
What name did “Old Ben” adopt for his Mexican vacation? Obi-Juan Kenobi!
11 tags
Top Ten Time
Wald mocked Anakin. Luke was called “Wormie.” Palpatine was always picked last in dodgeball. Alright, so I’m guessing on that last one. But clearly, kids can be cruel, even in a galaxy far, far away. So SWJAD has compiled its first top ten list, namely… The Top Ten Star Wars Childhood Nicknames (drumroll please) #10 —- Wedgie Antilles! #9 —- Puke Gunray! ...
2 tags
Limerick Friday!
There once was a hunter named Jango Who was caught in a Jedi Knight tango He fled to Slave I And said to his son “I’ll be glad to see all this rain go!”
3 tags
Limerick Friday!
There once was a shopkeep named Watto And “I’ll take that bet” was his motto For wagers he’d crave Even lost his fave slave Good thing Tatooine had no lotto!
3 tags
Limerick Friday!
The main dude on the Death Star was Tarkin To the Empire’s word he did harken So when Rebels were havin’ A big meeting on Yavin He thought “that’s a good system to park in!”
2 tags
Knock Knock #3
Knock Knock Who’s there? Uncle Owen! Uncle Owen who? Uncle, owen the door! Emweror Walwatine is after me!
3 tags
Sith Pop Hits
What was Darth Vader’s favorite Gotye song?
Somebody That I Used to NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
1 tag
Tread Lightly
Why did the sandcrawler have body image issues?
Everyone said it had junk in its trunk.
3 tags
Mix It Up #6
What’s a droid’s drink of choice? Nothin’ — we don’t serve their kind here!
2 tags
Mix It Up #4
What’s Major Derlin’s drink of choice? Beer, of course.
2 tags
Mix It Up #3
What’s Bail Organa’s drink of choice? Alderum!
2 tags
Mix It Up #2
What’s a Sith’s drink of choice?
Darth Slivovitch!
3 tags
Mix It Up
What’s a Jedi’s drink of choice?
Qui-Gon Gin!
1 tag
Short Fuse
Didja hear that R5-D4 had a bad temper?
Yeah… he always blew his top!
6 tags
Variation on a Classic
Luke Skywalker and Han Solo are exploring the Rebellion’s new home, the ice planet Hoth, when they hear a defeaning ROAR. They turn around to see a giant, furry snow creature heading their way — and gaining fast. Han and Luke take off, as fast as they can over the thick, powdery terrain. Suddenly, Han stops and reaches behind him. From under his jacket, he pulls out a pair of...
4 tags
The Man In Black
Where did Palpatine buy his Sithly robes? At the Darth Mall!
3 tags
Livin' On The Force
What do you get when you cross a New Jersey rock band with a Jedi Knight? Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi!
5 tags
Didn't See That Coming
What was Emperor Palpatine’s last thought?
“Hey, what’s an X-Wing doing down here?”
3 tags
Knock Knock
Knock Knock Who’s there? Watto. Watto who? Watto ya doin’? Open the door!
2 tags
Fun With Tuskens
What giant diamond is revered by Sand People?
The Pink Bantha!
3 tags
Limerick Friday!
There once was a gangster named Jabba Who got a new princess to slobber True, Han got thawed But Leia got pawed And of her clothes Jabba robbed her
2 tags
May The Firth Be With You
2 tags
Puppet With Strings
Who’s short, green, and plays the cello? Yo-Yo Da!
4 tags
Knock Knock #47
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Figrin.
Figrin who?
Figrin on opening the door any time soon?
3 tags
Good Musician, Picky Eater
Why did Max Rebo go to the farmers market?
He only ate organic food!
